Farm Dreams

Homesteading, Organic Gardening, How to Farm, Preparedness, Self-Reliance

Do You Have What It Takes To Homestead? (Part 4)

The Happy Homesteader

Anyone considering homesteading will get a strong dose of reality once they jump in, but it can be helpful to have an idea of what you're jumping into before you take the plunge. In the past posts of this series I've prompted you to imagine yourself in a few situations that almost every homesteader finds themselves in.

If you live on a homestead with animals, then you will surely encounter predation at some time.
If you devote your life to being independent and to live off of the land, then you will surely have some period where you struggle with where your food comes from - whether it be the failure of crops in the garden or reconciling eating an animal that you raised.

Yet, the new realities can all be dealt with by learning new skills.

You can feel confident in taking on that predator if you learn to shoot.
You can never fear bare shelves again once your gardening skills are honed.
And you can even deal with eating animals after you learn to butcher and come to terms with the food chain.

But there is one aspect of rural homesteading that no skill can alleviate. This will be the last scenario that I ask new Farm Dreamers to consider while you plan your escape from city life to country folk. It's something that I hear people express fears about very often and it's something that no one can help you with. You must determine whether you can REALLY take this lifestyle on or not.

Where's the Bliss?

You are living your dream on your homestead! Outside the farmhouse is a beautifully tended garden that is bursting at the sides with tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, and melons. The pastures that surround your house are green and lush and the animals that graze them are frolicking and playing. The sun is shining and you take a moment to sit on the porch and sip a glass of cold lemonade. Life is bliss!

But the peaceful quiet that overcomes you grows into an acute awareness of how isolated and alone you really are. The only sounds that you hear are birds chirping. You don't see a house, or a car, or any other person and you know that your nearest "neighbor" is 2 miles away. At first you love the peace and tranquility but now concern begins to creep in. You shake the thoughts out of your head and start to think about that project you're going to tackle after your break. You run through the plans in your head and make a mental list of materials. Shoot! There are a few items that you need before you can start, so you'll have to run to the store. But the closest box store is an hour away. None of the mom and pop stores in the small town 15 minutes away will carry what you need and it's silly to make such a long trip to the closest city just for a few supplies. These days you don't get off the farm much because everything is just so far away and it takes a lot of gas to get anywhere. Instead you keep a running list of things and go only when you really need to. I guess this project will have to wait.

Discouraged, your mind wanders again about your isolation. There really is nothing around you. If you wanted to celebrate an anniversary with a nice dinner out you would literally have to be gone all night in order to get to the closest quality restaurant. Is two hours of driving each way really worth it? Maybe once a year for that anniversary, but probably not more. Man, you haven't had a night out on the town since you moved out to your piece of paradise. Not one concert, not one ball game, not that new play you were wanting to see. Heck, you don't even go to the movies any more because it's an hour to the closest theater and that, plus the movie time, means you'd be away for at least four hours. What if something happens while you're gone? What if the pigs get out? It's just not worth it. You'll watch the re-runs in your house instead. But not on cable TV...because you can't get cable TV!

Those TV re-runs start to get old. You see the commercials of the newest movie previews and the latest gadgets and feel a twitch of envy. When was the last time you went to a mall? You used to dress in style and get your hair cut, but you haven't left your homestead in weeks. Now you spend your days in dirty jeans and those fancy shoes in your closet are collecting dust. Sure, you wouldn't trade your life for the world and there are so many beautiful days out here, but once in a while it would be nice to feel like you're still part of civilization. You talk to your city friends on the phone and they're living it up! In fact, they just got back from vacation. Vacations are a thing of your past. Remember that trip you took to the beach before you moved? There's no way you could get away now. Who would milk the cow? Your friends think you're crazy for being so tied down and out of touch. You love your privacy and independence, but maybe they're right. Would you even fit in at one of their dinner parties any more? No one wants to hear your stories about slopping the hogs!

But there's more to isolation than just missing the conveniences and social gatherings. As the bull begins to snort and holler with wild eyes your mind flashes a scene before your eyes that evokes panic. What if you got hurt out here? There's a lot of danger in this new world. You saw an article in the local paper just last week about a man that was crushed to death by his bull..others were crushed by their tractors! Sure, you're careful, but accidents happen and who would know if you got hurt? You could call as loud as you want, but there's no one to hear you. You could dial 911 on your cell phone, but the signals out here are hit and miss. Would you be able to make it inside to the house phone? Do you have a house phone? And if you did, how long would it really take for an ambulance to reach you? There's no hospital in your small town and the closest one is still very rural. How skilled are those doctors? How old is their equipment? By now you are really missing the state-of-the-art medical facilities in the city.

It hits you. You-are-all-alone...

It's a fact that in order to be a hard core homesteader, you must live in a rural environment. You also must get used to living very frugally and working long hours outside. There is no skill that you can learn or resource that you can turn to when you are feeling isolated. If you are moving from a populated area to the country there will be many adjustments you'll have to make. Some lessons will be learned the hard way, some things will fall into place with ease, but there's no telling how hard the feeling of isolation will hit you. You'll have to get along without many of the conveniences that you were once used to. There will probably be sacrifices you'll have to make in your life. Will you still be happy if you don't have your friends or family nearby? Can you take pleasure in being a "home body" or will you still long for seeing the world? Do you want to raise your children in a small town or will they be missing out on valuable opportunities? No one can answer these questions for you and I'm afraid that I can't give a list of links and resources for you to educate yourself on. I saw this photo by Jill on Farm Dreams and thought it summed up a bit of country life. Either you look at it and long for a similar experience or you don't. I think the rural calling is either in us or not. All I can do is to suggest that you picture yourself in the scenario above and find out where your family's comfort level lies. Be honest with yourselves and then go find your dream. There is no perfect situation out there, but if the right property doesn't present itself to you on your homestead search, then keep looking. Figure out what you can and cannot compromise on. If moving too far away from the city is too much to ask, then consider it a deal breaker and search some more. If you're committed to your dream then you'll find your paradise.

Next week I'll finish this series with a happy ending. Take if from someone who has completed the metamorphosis...life can be bliss on a rural homestead.

Tags: DYHWITTH, city life, country life, homesteading, rural

3 members like this

Comment by Karen Paro on February 21, 2012 at 4:26pm: Have to say moving from the burbs to the country wouldn't make much of a life style change for me. We don't go out more than twice a year, our anniversary & hubby takes me out to eat for my birthday, we don't go to the movies or parties we would rather sit home and watch the grass grow. This past summer when hubby & I drove to WI for the tractor pulls is the first time in 4 years that we had been on vacation and the first time in 23 that we went alone with no kids in tow. I think the only thing that would be missed is the cable TV that hubby likes to watch (I just watch the basic 3 channels myself when I do watch TV)

Comment by Ellen Samek on February 22, 2012 at 11:49am: Great thoughts. This has been one of the biggest things for my husband as we were looking to move. Since he works from home (computer guru), we had to be close enough to get DSL - so we aren't totally isolated....and Netflix is AWESOME!!! But we have started planning our trips to town much more carefully now - and combining trips. Most folks I think won't be TOTALLY isolated, but far enough out that it is not as convenient.

A really good reminder. One thing that my family experienced when I was growing up was that even though we were only about 6 miles out of town, folks that lived in town thought we were SO FAR OUT there that it was too far to come visit, pick vegetables (when we had extra, they only had to come pick them and they could have pretty much all they wanted for free) or anything else. My dad once apologized repeatedly for asking my husband to go pick up a mower from a shop that was about 20 minutes away (18 miles)...living in Dallas/Fort Worth, it was hard for Dad to get it that I drove 12 miles to work and that usually took about 20-30 minutes if there was no traffic - 20-30 minutes around DFW was normal just to get anywhere.

It's the other folks that sometime make it feel like you are isolated.

Looking forward to the "bliss" posting!

Ellen Samek

Comment by Old MacDonald on February 22, 2012 at 7:26pm: I didn't realize how dirty country living can be. I'd lived in the burbs or heart of the city all my adult life. I went from indoors, to concrete to asphalt. I might venture out on a lush lawn that was cared for by sprinkler system and regular mowing.

At first I only saw the beauty when we moved out. The morning cups of coffee watching the sun rise, birds chirp and neighbor's horses frolic. No train or traffic in the background. No smell of diesel. It was the honeymoon period.

Then the dirt started bothering me. I'd sweep the patio and it would lasts maybe an hour. It is so much harder to keep a house clean out here. And the dirt is different. There's dirt from the animal pens, wet dirt, bloody dirt, garden dirt, hair on clothing that is not human. I could go on and on.

And there are the flies. In the summer, I cannot serve food buffet style b/c there's always flies in our home. When someone leaves the dinner table to get a glass of water, they ask the person next to them to watch their plate which means to swish away any flies that land.

And there's the part about feeling like a girl. In the summers I stink. I still put on make-up most days but last summer I quit b/c I would sweat so much that mascara ran down my face. I also quit highlighting my hair b/c it was too much trouble to go into town for hair color. I gave up cute shoes for muck boots.

I would not trade our lifestyle for the sterile home we had before. We have improved our life with this change. But I think it is worth acknowledging that dealing with the dirt and stinky smells has been one of the hardest adjustments for me.

Mrs. McDonald

Comment by Daisy on February 23, 2012 at 10:31am: Karen - Sounds like you're made for the country! One thing we noticed though was that even though we didn't use the conveniences as much as most people in the city, we still missed knowing that they were there for a time. The adjustment period didn't last long, but it still was an adjustment that we weren't prepared for. It sounds like you'll make it just fine if you're dreaming of homesteading!

Ellen - I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that in rural areas the families tend to stick together. When we first moved we realized that it was most common for the kids to grow up and move next door. There were some roads in town with 5 houses all with the same last name because it was generation after generation living next door to each other. If you can walk over to grandma's house and play in your aunt's backyard every day, then you make your own little world and tend to think everything outside it is "out there". We had even heard of people talking about how their kids moved away and they couldn't believe how little they saw them. It sounded like they had left the state, but they just moved to town 10 minutes away! Seeing how everyone around us knew each other so intimately made us feel even more like outsiders.

Mrs. McDonald - Boy, this could be a post all in itself couldn't it? You would think that just because you move to the country it wouldn't change the inside of your house as you still clean like you used to, but you're totally right how the country invades! I absolutely understand each of the things you said, but don't think people get it until they experience it. I know if someone had tried to warn me before moving, then I wouldn't have believed them. Like you, I would not change it for the world, but do sometimes long for that easy-to-clean house of the past!

Comment by Pat Barr on February 23, 2012 at 12:56pm: Mrs McDonald,

On flies... Dusty just posted another one of my BLOGs (Insecticides and Vermin Control for the Homestead). We have the same amount of flies etc., as any of the people we visit in town. When they are overloaded, so are we... when they are low amounts so do we. We don't use any chemical insecticides... and 90% of our insecticides are our poultry. (We do use the fly caTcher bag ((only 1)), and I do hang a fly catching strip in my big shed.)

Becase of the guineas (and i invariably forget the first time I go to someone else's place to help in the Spring) we don't have chiggers nor ticks. I may pick one tick a month off 6 dogs.

Pat

Comment by Pat Barr on February 23, 2012 at 1:00pm: Oops hit the add comment key too quick, forget to put on a spray for ticks and chiggers, and always come home all eat up (and ticks all over my house dog ((that goes every where with me ))). I don't like to use chemicals on myself (nor the dogs ) but I like getting ate up by the critters even less.

Pat

Comment by Karen Paro on February 23, 2012 at 5:55pm: I tried the bag and didn't have much luck with it I like the plastic bottles better and after the initial baiting I have found that the dead flies themselves make the best bait there is. And like Pat we find it doesn't matter where you are when the flies are bad they're bad for everyone, the feed store where my sister works sells more fly killing stuff to non animal owners than they do people with animals.

We use a couple of the catcher jars hanging outside and a couple of tapes inside but I'm hoping this year with the addition of a screen door to cut down on the inside flies.

Due to our location and a neighbor that is scared of larger type birds we can't have Guineas, they need more area to roam than we could give them.

Comment by Pat Barr on February 23, 2012 at 8:27pm: Karen,

You are totally right on Guineas... they range on 40 acres. I think I've shared this before, but will again. I had 1 neighbor who worked 6 days a week. I saw him one time (when I was down by the fence we share), and we got to talking. He told me that he was upset enough that he was going to come over and complain about my Guineas. They would have a Coffee Kultch under his bedroom window every Sunday morning about 7. Before he decided to come over, he realized he could mow his lawn, even sit outside without having to spray for chiggers and ticks. He then decided that they'd only stay there 15 minutes to a half hour, and he could roll back over after they left... and not having to fight ticks and chiggers was worth it.

It's too bad you can't have them... and sounds like you can't free range chickens either... guess no help here.

Pat

Comment by Karen Paro on February 23, 2012 at 9:30pm: No we can't we used to but they seemed to know which neighbor had the panic attacks when they were around and would head right for her yard everyday when she was out doing yard work so we fenced in a big section of the side yard where the house is and made a 30 X 40 coop for them, we do still have a couple that free range but they stay right in my yard around the birdfeeders and my patio area, during gardening season they do venture out to the garden and eat bugs. If I find any tomato hornworms I let the turkey hen out and she makes short work of those they're her favorite, she goes down thru the tomatoes picking off any I had seen and a lot I didn't and once she's done she goes right back to the gate to go back in the yard. The couple times I found mice nests in my greenhouse with young in them all I had to do was dump the nests and mice were gone faster than lightening.

Comment by J Green on March 7, 2012 at 12:17am: Here's a tip for flies that really works! It won't eliminate each and every fly but it can take the numbers down so much that you will finally notice that there are only a few strays hanging around.

Vanilla scented car fresheners...you know the little pine tree shaped ones? Hang them in your kitchen on the light fixture overhead or even in a window sill. It won't be immediate but pretty soon you'll see a difference. For bigger rooms, hang a couple.

Some folks are trying this in their chicken coops and notice a drastic change in the number of flies.

I live near many poultry houses and in the spring and fall the farmer next to me spreads poultry wastes /bedding on his fields where it hatches tons of flies. Guess who gets the benefit? Even in my truck it would be nothing to have hundreds of flies...try driving to work with that many flies in your face! After placing a vanilla tree, within a couple of days the flies were gone.

Tried it in the house, where I can kill 300 flies in one hour on my porch(yes, we counted! We used to have competitions to see how many we each could kill as we sat out of an evening) and half as many inside the house...until the vanilla trees.

Love me some vanilla trees!!